Someone hacked into my twitter account and posted a bunch of pictures of my awesome schlong on the internet.
Turns out, that someone was me. I posted pictures of not only my half engorged hood-less serpent, but also my chiseled pecks. Then, word got out that I had been sexting a bunch of chicks, and now all my colleagues want me to quit my job.
Well, fuck them. They aren't the boss of me.