Friday, June 3, 2011

Another Niblet from the unintentional King of Kolobian Komedy and the Hamburgler's Revenge (Kasual Kussing Kontained within)

As I have been pondering and praying to Cthulhu (A good friend. He throws one kick ass party) to restore my memories of Hugh Nibley "ideas," I recollected another one that really helped me in my journey towards the awesome Dark Side (not to be confused with Darkseid - that guy's just an asshole).

Nibley was discussing the "issue" of those "fossils" of peeps (not the gross marshmallow shit that hardens into "fossils" a week after Easter - human peeps as in the term that the childrens are using for "friends" such as, "How are you today, my fine, gentle peeps?"), "fossils" of peeps who would have been CLEARLY corpsed out before the time frame of Adam and Eve and the subsequent incest for the "first 'dispensation' of the Gospel."  Not to mention the "peepanoid" fossils dating much much earlier.

Nibley wrote something to the effect of, "They [both ancient peeps and peepaniods] don't matter.  We don't know anything about how they fit into our plan of salvation.  We don't have to worry about them.  Their salvation would be worked out as well, but we don't know how that would be."

When you read something like this, you should find it interesting.  And by interesting, imagine that any thoughts you would have subsequent to this would melt away in large pixels while the "death music" of Pac-Man played loudly.

Ostensibly that's exactly what happened when I read this the first time.  My TBM programming found it interesting, and it definitely killed any thought that I had at the moment.  However, like most of Nibley's writings, it was also like resurrecting a zombie Pac-Man into my inner ear.  Eventually he would grow hungry and would only be satiated by feasting upon the brains of the living.  Just like unto the Resurrected Jesus.

I started reading Nibley at a time when I wanted more answers.  He was supposed to be the "go to guy" for answers.  As a sexpert on ancient civilizations, he should have been able to have constructed a clear picture on the Gospel and how it fit in with the knowledge of the World.

But this was something else.  He pretty much admitted that peeps have been around for a long time - much longer than the 6000 year old view of the bible - and that we had evolved.

This was completely at odds with everything I had ever been taught in church or in seminary.  And eventually it raised far more questions than it did answers.

My soul still an hungered.  I was expecting a spiritual Manwich or at least a spiritual Snickers.  But nay.  A giant winged unicorn, "NAY!" This was a spiritual McRib sandwich.  It may feel like it fills you up, but really its job is to slowly poison you from within until 12 hours later and the eighth time on the shitter you cry out, "Hamburgler! Why have you forsaken me?"

As your body is doubled over the only truly "human" sound is mocking laughter.

The Hamburgler's Revenge.

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