Sunday, January 30, 2011

One reason why church sucks.

We all know that church sucks. Especially those of you who are still going (sad pandas), and we also know the reason why church sucks.

It is boring. Soul crushingly boring, because you go each week to place that you don't own, but still have to clean to listen to the same ridiculous shit over and over and over again preached by people who either don't believe it themselves, or believe it to the point of madness.

Everyone else is there to basically agree with what's going on. So the "discussion" ends up being:

"Oh, I think baptism is very important; don't you, Brother Buttkiss?"

"Oh, absolutely Brother Asanine. The scriptures say it's very important."

"Of course! The scriptures. They are great."

"Yes they are."

"Then we are agreed."

"Agreed."

And this could be and IS repeated with any topic-- just replace the word baptism with whatever else. The holy spirit, or the "gifts of the holy spirit," or prayer, or, or or or. You get the point. Nothing new, three hours of your life that you could have used playing video games. But instead those hours are wasted. You are older, closer to death, and actually dumber than when you went in the chapel doors.

And then of course there's the sacrament/fast and crappy story time meetings too surrounded by dead eyed zombies that won't remember what was said in the meeting five minutes after it's over, but will swear to you that they love going with all of their shriveled hearts.

The only time this ever gets insteresting is when the resident crazy goes up to "bare his testimony" and you can hear the collective inhalation of breath by everyone steeling themselves to whatever non sensical rant is going to come spewing forth.

But mostly sacrament meeting is just about how much you AREN'T sacrificing enough, AREN'T doing enough, AREN'T faithful enough. And how to use the "gospel" as a cudgle to bludgeon anyone who is doing something that you don't agree with.

The only real "peace" comes from when the sacrament is administered and the room is quiet enough to hear your brain screeming, "WHY ARE WE STILL HERE? THIS FUCKING SUCKS! IF YOU DON'T LEAVE, THEN I WILL!"

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